Sanders

Hillary’s plan for college affordability is bunk

It’s hard to describe the feeling of paying off your student loans.

At a time when college loans exceed credit card debt, breaking free of the shackles of yet another monthly payment is wildly liberating.

Thanks to an inheritance, I’m days away from being rid of my university debt forever. No more being dunned by email. No more slips in my monthly budget. Just a hunkier wallet in my pocket and a spring to my step.

And wouldn’t you know it, just as I hit a high mark, that bitch Hillary is dragging me back down. The lapdog of Wall Street is out with a new affordable tuition plan that hammers my hard work into dust. Inspired by her rival, Senator Socialism, Clinton has introduced the “New College Compact,” which includes several proposals to make university free for middle-class plebes.

The initiative will end tuition at in-state public colleges for families earning less than $125,000 a year by 2021. It will also impose a three-month moratorium on loan repayments, and have the Department of Education work with borrowers to either forgive debt or lower payments based on income.

Clinton is not bending fully to the demand of Sanderistas and advocating for free public college for all. But her plan is a thinly-veiled buyout of degreed millennials who aren’t qualified to fetch bagels. She’s directly courting the pajama boys and purple-haired fembots who can’t keep a full-time gig because they screw around on Facebook and Tumblr all day. Call it bailouts for votes–a fine democratic tradition!

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