Hillary’s plan for college affordability is bunk

It’s hard to describe the feeling of paying off your student loans.

At a time when college loans exceed credit card debt, breaking free of the shackles of yet another monthly payment is wildly liberating.

Thanks to an inheritance, I’m days away from being rid of my university debt forever. No more being dunned by email. No more slips in my monthly budget. Just a hunkier wallet in my pocket and a spring to my step.

And wouldn’t you know it, just as I hit a high mark, that bitch Hillary is dragging me back down. The lapdog of Wall Street is out with a new affordable tuition plan that hammers my hard work into dust. Inspired by her rival, Senator Socialism, Clinton has introduced the “New College Compact,” which includes several proposals to make university free for middle-class plebes.

The initiative will end tuition at in-state public colleges for families earning less than $125,000 a year by 2021. It will also impose a three-month moratorium on loan repayments, and have the Department of Education work with borrowers to either forgive debt or lower payments based on income.

Clinton is not bending fully to the demand of Sanderistas and advocating for free public college for all. But her plan is a thinly-veiled buyout of degreed millennials who aren’t qualified to fetch bagels. She’s directly courting the pajama boys and purple-haired fembots who can’t keep a full-time gig because they screw around on Facebook and Tumblr all day. Call it bailouts for votes–a fine democratic tradition!

For folks like me, Clinton’s loan forgiveness plan is a slap in the face. She’s rewarding ingrates for bad behavior, while those who were financially responsible get nothing.

Allow me to elaborate. I didn’t take the normal route to college. After graduating my public high school, I hadn’t a clue of what I wanted to do for a living. So I took my dad’s advice and went to community college. I didn’t dish out thousands in university tuition to major in “undecided” while I pondered my future upside-down over a keg. I paid around $1,000 for a full-time semester of classes, most of which came out of my own pocket. This was in 2006.

I spent a couple years getting my associate’s degree, while working 30 hours a week at a local theme park. When my peers were binging on cherry-flavored Smirnoff in dorms, I was working 16-hour days cleaning grease, counting cash drawers, and managing a business. It wasn’t glorious, but I wasn’t tying a millstone around my neck and plunging into a sea of arrear.

I had a blast when I finally reached real college. Hopeful and semi-literate, I outshined my dunderheaded classmates by actually knowing a few things about politics. It helped that I went to a podunck state school in the middle of Amish country, PA. The university was not known for greatness—with the exception of fostering a Green Bay Packer—so being a gadlfy was easy. I argued with teachers and read a lot of economic claptrap. My columns in the school newspaper were inspired–mainly by 12-packs of Miller Lite.

At first, I regretted not matriculating sooner. But after graduation, when it took me a whole year of stocking shelves at Target to find a full-time job, I was grateful I didn’t become an indentured servant to the college loan gods. With under $15,000 in debt, my monthly payments were affordable.

Which brings me back to my pissiness over Clinton’s debt freedom plan. Why the hell should the pampered morons who took out too much debt get a pass? Isn’t part of being an adult living with the decisions you make?

Sympathy would be a lot of easier if the indebted were not wholly composed of the worst generation in mankind’s history: millennials. The cost of college began spiking in the mid-2000s. By 2010, tuition hikes far exceeded the increase in cost of most goods and services. Graduates since that time have been ponying up the most cash for their education, and are more in the hole than others.

By relaxing their debt obligations, Hillary will be teaching millions of narcissistic “selfie”-takers that reneging on your promises is a-OK. Millennials are already the most spoiled and entitled bastards since the New Left. They expect high-paying jobs without commitment. They also expect a paycheck without effort.

The luxury of going to college on layaway is taken for granted by millennials. Only when they emerge in the real world after five years of exploring African calligraphy does it dawn on them how underprepared they are for working life. By then, it’s too late to rethink the path taken. Worthless degree in hand, they embark on a journey of disappointment, crushed ambition, and resentment.

I’m not against the idea of government helping out those down on their luck; conservatism is about maintaining a feeling of viscosity within a people. But a college education is quickly losing its status as a public good. Ideological sleepaway camps that preach the faith of race-infused sexology are not places of higher learning. They’re Stalinist indoctrination asylums. Promoting open thinking and understanding the inheritance of Western culture is not sought by universities anymore.

The only way newly-minted graduates are going to have the four-year-filth flushed from their brains is if they are, in the classic phrase, mugged by reality. They should pay back their student loans in full, even if it means scrubbing floors for minimum wage. A debt is a debt. The uptight Hamptons housewife screaming for her frappuccino with extra whip doesn’t care for a lecture a gender non-conformity. She wants her overly caffeinated drink, and she wants it now.

One day on the job is more educational than half a decade in the classroom. The sooner college graduates learn that the world cares nothing for their feelings, and their bank account, the better.

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